I think I frightened Mags from A-ha....

Twenty years, TWENTY YEARS I have loved them. From the days when I used to want to BE Morten, and even tried to cultivate a bouffant like his own splendid version, to the later proper lusty aching in my loins whenever they'd appear on Saturday Superstore, the A-ha boys were mine. I sat resentful with my walkman blasting Stay on These Roads when all my friends became Brosettes. I bought all of their 'difficult' albums throughout the nineties. I loved them pure and simple. So when my friend John said that Mercia FM woudl be doing a one off gig with them in a pub, nothing was going to stop me from seeing my boys in the flesh, up close.

But what to wear when you're meeting your idols? There's such a fine line between dressing to impress and dressing to distress. I'm a big fan of the asian shopkeeper look , the old dress over trousers look, and I'm sure (pictures may prove me wrong) that my ample cleavage and Gwyneth Paltrow x 7 apple shape lack of waist looks better in an empire line dress. Plum coloured. Add some dangly earrings and a bit of sparkly eyeliner and I FELT ok when I left the house. Like I say the pictures prove me wrong . Ah well. I spose you can't change your face. That's for another time.

ANYWAY, so I got to the pub, managed to blag my way in, and heaven's preserve me but my own true love Morty was only bledding doing a soundcheck, like , 15 foot away from me. God his voice is amazing. Thing is I was so nervous, cos I knew I'd be interviewing one of the band later, that I had to keep going for nervous wees, and therefore couldn't really concentrate on his voice. Ah in hindsight...I must have been mental. I also got a bit excited at seeing two of my radio friends so got a bit carried away with them for a bit. Then when lovely John trots up and says "You'll be doing Mags or Pal," I put my case forward for Mags , cos I knew he'd be a better interview. My questions were alright, starting with the dull muso stuff but working up to the proper questions, the ones we're all dying to know;

Is it true Morten has his own brand of bread in Norway?

Why don't you do another James Bond theme, the rest have been rubbish?

Can I touch your tufty beard?

Would you like me to come on tour with you as your personal reflexologist?

That time in concert in 1986, did Morten really look straight at me?

You know the kind of thing...

So I sit stomach churning and over he comes after an age of waiting and fiddlign with nails and mic and notes. I shake his hand. (ooh he's got a firm shake!) He smells of lager. He sits, I tell him gushingly how much I love the band and he says I'm the one am I? I snigger and say yes and waffle on about his website. I'm already aware that I'm just talking, talking..talking....he seems underwhelmed but quite sweet. He's tired I imagine. I ask him something dull, he answers it and I'm not even listeneing, just thinkign ahhh, i want this interview to be good. No idea what he was on about. God he's talking for ages... I'm thinkign, make him like me! Make him see how amazingly different to all other interviewers I am! I ask another dull question thinking, ah we're just warming up here. He talks again. I look up and the record company person raises one finger. One more minute! aaarghj but i haven't even started on the good questions yet! I scan my list, thinking quick, panic, ask him something great! I make up some nonsense about me and Clare having salt and pepper sandwiches in our A-ha club. No we didn't! I say I know one phrase in norwegian that he once said in an interview. He looks at me like I'm mental .But I say it and he translates it as what I thought it was. Sheeps balls to you mate. He laughs and I go a bit hysterical with joy at him understanding. Then with relief probably, the record company person comes over and I quickly ask him to sign the cards I'd got for the homies. He says something about how unprepared they are for the gig. I HAVE MY PHOTO TAKEN AND LOOK LIKE A GIMBOID.


Then they do the gig and I barely pay attention cos sweat is dribbling down the small of my back. It was like an oven in there. Then it's home and I'm er....bizarrely underwhelmed. Morten looked at me from across the room and i had a v v v quick photo with Mags and Pal, but that was it, my great meeting with my idols. Very odd. It was only this weekend when I was listening to the new cd in the car that I felt a pang, like when I was a teenager again. Wish I'd paid more attention really. Bless them. I do still love them you know. Proper proper love.