Today is day 6 of the 2 Week Wait. I am still bloated. Oh my goodness I am bloated. My trousers do not fit. I am actually a bit concernd that this is not the air they pumped into me at the egg retrieval, and due to the amount of cakes I've eaten lately. No, there's been a lot. Now don't get me wrong, I want to be pregnant very badly, but I'd like to be able to wear the perfect jeans now I have 4 pairs of them in the wardrobe....
Now as to the fact the two little dots are currently inside me waiting to decide if they want to stay or not. The little dotties are warm and safe and I am trying, quite easily actually, to picture my welcoming uterus. That's not a phrase I've ever used before. Lots of ladies on the forums keep talking about whether they'll test before their OTD (official test day). Nope, I shall be doing what I'm told. No point mucking about with things that may or may not get my hopes up.
The cramps felt a little different this morning, naturally that makes me think, ooh it's day 6, this could be implantation. Maybe!
P is being lovely but I do think he may be a little bored. This is our holiday after all and I'm not really that good at walking far currently. And I'm up early again, while he came to bed at 1.15, but today we're off on a trip out. Tomorrow is his b'day for which i have PLANS, then back to work thurs.
Am still feeling positive.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
How'd you like your eggs?
Well had my eggs collection op yesterday and feel like I've gone ten
rounds with Mike Tyson. You may feel like you're full of air said the lovely nurse Lesley, they had to blow you up a bit for better access. Mmm. And she said the 'air' may end up rond your shoulder blades. Wind in my shoulder blades eh? Sounds liek a song from a musical....
But after a false start, when P took the eggs to the other specialist clinic (and spent the 45 minute car journey with them in an incubator plugged into the cigarette lighter, talking to his future children) and needed to provide two samples not just one, they then told him they had 11 eggs, which is
apparently good (?) and now we have to wait to find out if there are any embryos to implant back. Fingers crossed. Feel very positive that this is an experience we can get through whatever the outcome and that our little babies will be waiting for us.
The general anaesthetic was WEIRD tho, never had one of
those before! One minute the nurse and I were talking about Michael
Jackson, the next there's a cold feeling up my arm and my eyes went a bit misty "Ooh something's happening." I said. Then I'm waking up and the op was over! Still better that way I imagine!
It does make me think, all the discomfort and worry is not worth it in terms of things like plastic surgery mind you. Maybe I'll change my mind one day.
By the way, the 'air' is actually quite painful. Just disperse will you! I'm really very uncomfortable. Hence why I'm up at 6 am on my holiday time and P is snoozing.
rounds with Mike Tyson. You may feel like you're full of air said the lovely nurse Lesley, they had to blow you up a bit for better access. Mmm. And she said the 'air' may end up rond your shoulder blades. Wind in my shoulder blades eh? Sounds liek a song from a musical....
But after a false start, when P took the eggs to the other specialist clinic (and spent the 45 minute car journey with them in an incubator plugged into the cigarette lighter, talking to his future children) and needed to provide two samples not just one, they then told him they had 11 eggs, which is
apparently good (?) and now we have to wait to find out if there are any embryos to implant back. Fingers crossed. Feel very positive that this is an experience we can get through whatever the outcome and that our little babies will be waiting for us.
The general anaesthetic was WEIRD tho, never had one of
those before! One minute the nurse and I were talking about Michael
Jackson, the next there's a cold feeling up my arm and my eyes went a bit misty "Ooh something's happening." I said. Then I'm waking up and the op was over! Still better that way I imagine!
It does make me think, all the discomfort and worry is not worth it in terms of things like plastic surgery mind you. Maybe I'll change my mind one day.
By the way, the 'air' is actually quite painful. Just disperse will you! I'm really very uncomfortable. Hence why I'm up at 6 am on my holiday time and P is snoozing.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
It's been a while....
...and now here we are on the eve of a bit of surgery. Never had a general anaesthetic before so am a bit nervous really. Will ithurt when they put the thing in my hand? Will my bottom be flapping out the back of the hospital gown? Why didn't I lose a bit of weight before going through this?
'This' is IVF, and it's hopefully going to make me and P very happy. I am loathe to get too excited but the bubbles of excitement are creeping out, like an overflow from the bath. I really want this to work. I am terrified if I'm honest of all the things that children bring, the fact that the school summer holidays are on now...how will we work it when the little one goes to school? Will I be able to cope with the early starts AND motherhood? And then the things a bit closer to home, if I DO get pregnant, what if I have morning sickness at work? But all the worries will be put to one side for that moment when we get told that yes, I am pregnant.
Met N for lunch today who's had an awful time with her IUI. I felt a little guilty that I've had a bit of a breeze through my scans and injections. I was a bit worried abotu how to actually inject at first, but when E showed me how to do it, the smooth flight of the needle, the ease with which the sharp pierces the skin, the lack of pain if you do it right, it almost became second nature. Almost. The puncture marks on my swelling stomach might show differently. And the side effects I currently feel, lower back ache, cramps, heavy tender breasts are nothing in comparison to the extremes N went through. Crying all the time she said. Extreme reactions and a tension between her and her partner. I feel blessed to have had P's support even though I know he's a little stressed with work.
So yes, currently my ovaries are the size of grapefruits, my bits have been looked at more than Jordan's on a trip to Ibiza and I'd like tomorrow's egg collection to be over please. If this doesn't work, then so be it, it's in fate's hands realy. And I know I will have a child, whatever happens, one way or another, throught this process or adoption, there'll be someone who calls me Mum.
'This' is IVF, and it's hopefully going to make me and P very happy. I am loathe to get too excited but the bubbles of excitement are creeping out, like an overflow from the bath. I really want this to work. I am terrified if I'm honest of all the things that children bring, the fact that the school summer holidays are on now...how will we work it when the little one goes to school? Will I be able to cope with the early starts AND motherhood? And then the things a bit closer to home, if I DO get pregnant, what if I have morning sickness at work? But all the worries will be put to one side for that moment when we get told that yes, I am pregnant.
Met N for lunch today who's had an awful time with her IUI. I felt a little guilty that I've had a bit of a breeze through my scans and injections. I was a bit worried abotu how to actually inject at first, but when E showed me how to do it, the smooth flight of the needle, the ease with which the sharp pierces the skin, the lack of pain if you do it right, it almost became second nature. Almost. The puncture marks on my swelling stomach might show differently. And the side effects I currently feel, lower back ache, cramps, heavy tender breasts are nothing in comparison to the extremes N went through. Crying all the time she said. Extreme reactions and a tension between her and her partner. I feel blessed to have had P's support even though I know he's a little stressed with work.
So yes, currently my ovaries are the size of grapefruits, my bits have been looked at more than Jordan's on a trip to Ibiza and I'd like tomorrow's egg collection to be over please. If this doesn't work, then so be it, it's in fate's hands realy. And I know I will have a child, whatever happens, one way or another, throught this process or adoption, there'll be someone who calls me Mum.
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