Cats are so much clever-er than dogs

Everyone knows cats are clever-er than dogs. Here's proof:

 

Extracts from any dogs diary; 

8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon- Oh, boy! Kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The garden! My favorite!
4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

Excerpts from The Hoff's daily diary;

 

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. From my investigations I can onyl deduce that humans are stupid.Not to mention the pets of the others who live in this area. A  dog will be  routinely released and seems more than happy to return. They are  obviously  half-wits. Birds, on the other hand, just talk incessantly for no reason.  Due to their current placement in the sky, their  safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ....

 

(adapted from something very clever I found on the interweb!)

The Husband makes a stranger laugh....

As pointed out by Paul in the queue for the pick and mix at Huntingdon Cineworld last night;

 

"Do you think anyone's ever put their pick and mix on the scales here and said "now THAT'S good value..."

 

The woman in front of us sniggered.

 

We paid £1.35 for 8 sweets. 8. And not even any chocolate.

 

Pah.

 

ps; Went to see 'The Dark'. Average kind of scary film with rubbish ending. But Sean Bean's quite a rugged kind of salty sea dog in his old age you know. Never really seen it before....my eyes have been opened!