And so....

I am pregnant. Did the test last night. P was OVER THE MOON, he could not have been more lovely or loving. I loved him so much at that moment, more than ever before. I was a bit overwhelmed to be honest and all I could think about was the what if's...what if I miscarry, what about work, what if it's twins. All fear! Then as the evening went on, just thought how exciting the next step of our life journey will be!

Anyway, then at work this morning didn't want to get over excited cos still had the blood test to do at the hospital.

That's kind of brought down to earth a bit....never knew about this HCG thing cos never been in this situation before. Told Jane the nurse I'd had the positive test yesterday, but had lots of period pains and she said well we'll know more when the bloods come back. She said any less than 50 and the foetus is unlikely to grow. Anything over 100 is good, anything over 300 is likely to be twins....so all got to do now is wait till after 4 when she'll call and tell me what the level is. I didn't know this, just thought it was positive or not. Feel rather thick....

Strangely feel a huge anti climax feeling. I can only put it down to how in our nearly 4 years of trying, have never come this far and in a strange way, I am USED to being me who can't have a baby. And now to being me who maybe can is actually really scary and I feel a bit emotional and generally terrified. Didn't expect to feel like this. V weird and does NOT feel real.